Thursday, April 2, 2009

What Not To Wear [Haiku(s)]

A show about clothes
People wear some crazy stuff
Five thousand dollars
~OR~
What the heck is that?
Throw that in the trash can now!
Good bye old wardrobe
~OR~
OMG Clinton!
Please tell me the news Stacy!
Those are ugly clothes
The inspiration for these magnificent pieces of poetry came to me after watch an episode of What not to Wear where a 21 year old show dog lady, trainer, whatever, got a wardrobe makeover!

The Times Are Not Correct

The times on all of my posts are wrong. I did not post stuff at 5:57 AM.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Overcoming My Fears

When I was a young child, I was afraid of some really odd things. For example, I would be very scared when Law and Order would come on because the voice over at the beginning would scare me to death! Also, if I was watching Snow White, I seriously could not watch any part with the witch because I would be terrified. Whenever this part was approaching, I would demand that Whinnie the Pooh would be put into the VCR. Also, I used to be afraid of going in the basement by myself after watching an episode of Rugrats where there were "monsters" in the Pickles' garage. While all of these things provoked illogical fear in me when I was young, the thing that scared me the most was Grant Wood's American Gothic. For some reason, I always saw this painting on TV when I was little and it really creeped me out. I have recently come to a conclusion why this is so. When I was 3 or 4, my sister would play Fester's Quest (a game about the Addams Family) on our Nintendo. Right when Uncle Fester was about to battle the scariest boss in the whole game, Wednesday Addams would be in house and you had to visit her to gain some violent item used to destroy the boss. So anyway, I decided to dust off Fester's Quest yesterday. After I got over how stupid and pointless running around and breaking your thumb button mashing is, I really got into this pointless 1980's game. Finally I came to the part where Wednesday has to give you your item. I open the door and said to myself: "Holy Cow! Now I know why I hated American Gothic!" Wednesday Addams looks just like the woman in the painting! I would always be scared when my sister would have Fester battle this boss and Wednesday Addams was a sure sign this part of the game was coming. Therefore, I associated a timeless piece of American artwork with very corny video game violence. So, the point of this is that it took me about 11 years of my life to realize that it was not the painting, but Wednesday Addams and her assistance to her Uncle Fester that scared me!

Twilight Has Stolen My Brain

Ok, I happen to read the Twilight series. They are good books and I would recommend them. However, TWILIGHT HAS TAKEN OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy cow! I can't even go to Wal-Mart without being surrounded by Edward Cullen. All I hear from my peers is Twilight this, Twilight that, Twilight, Twilight, Twlight! Seriously, Twilight is not the center of the universe! That is a true statement although I am afriad twilight may now have become more important than the sun to many teenaged girls. Edward Cullen and all of his sibilings have seriously blown the world out of proportion. Also, I am so sick of hearing all the Team Edward and Team Jacob nonsense. I have never seen anyone get so worked up of two fake boys in my life! It's crazy! I have seen many intelligent people start following this Twilight cult and quite frankly, I'M SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Phillies' Opening Day!


The Phillies open this Sunday at Citizen's Bank Park in Philly! This is extremely exciting because they are coming off of their World Series Championship season! The problem is, much of the starting lineup is overcoming injury. World Series MVP, left handed pitcher Cole Hamels was scheduled to start on opening day, but know he won't due to tightness in his elbow. I'm a huge Cole Hamels fan, but COME ON!!!! These professional athletes can be huge babies! If I had tightness in my elbow before a basketball game, I would probably get a "suck it up" from my coach. If I was lucky, the trainer would tape my elbow. I have never met Cole Hamels, or asked him about this injury, so I don't know his mindset to this, but I think he can pitch on opening day. So anyway, 2nd baseman Chase Utley and 3rd baseman Pedro Feliz have a better reason to be complianing. Chase had major hip surgery in November and is coming along well. He originally was not going to be back until June, but plans to start on Opening Day. Pedro had back surgey and also plans to start on Opening Day. So anyway, the Phils open with the Braves on Sunday, Apri 5th. Hopefully, this season will be as good as the last.

The Phillies are the Best Team Around (A Villanelle)

The Phillies are the best team around
They dominate every game
Cole Hamels throws amazing pitches fro the mound

The crowd cheering is a wonderful sound
Everyone chants the batter's name
The Phillies are the best team around

The Fightin' Phils are World Series bound
All of the other teams are just lame
Cole Hamels throws amazing pitches from the mound

Every pitch, the phillies pound
This year and last are the same
The Phillies are the best team around

J-Roll pops one to the gap's ground
Look at all the runs that came
Cole Hamels throws amazing pitches from the mound

Crying in the dugout is where the other team is found
The Fightin' Phils deserve all the fame
The Phillies are the best team around
Cole Hamels throws amazing pitches from the mound

Where I'm From

I am from basketball, from Adidas and sports equipment.
I am from the smell of baking pastries (warm,delicious, cheers you up).
I am from the lilac bush, the oak tree.
I am from summer vactions and over-competitiveness, from Charley and Carol and Joe.
I am from kindness and understanding.
From don't give up and try your hardest.
I am from Sunday school, hours spent learning or making our teacher mad.
I am from Hershey and montgomery, pumpkin pie and roasted turkey.
From the time my grandfather spent in the army during WWII, the boys' track records at Montgomery with my father's name on them, and the cows my great-gradfather butchered to turn into beef.
I am from the pictures on the wall, the box under my dad's dresser, a look at the family past, present, and future. Memories, current events, and dreams.